Are we living yet?

by Jon Bell

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD




released April 6, 2012

Alicia Bell - Backing Vocal: Track 3
Adam Price - Clarinet/Flute: Tracks 1, 5, 8, 10
Peter Ketcham-Colwill - Trumpet: Tracks 1, 2, 4, 6
Joelle Britt - Violin: Tracks 1, 3, 10
Susan Mandel - Cello: Tracks 3, 8
Alexandra Jones - Cello: Tracks 5, 10


all rights reserved



Jon Bell New York, New York

24 year-old Jon Bell is a composer/song-writer from Arlington, VA, currently based in Brooklyn, NY. In addition to his self released music here, Jon composes for film, dance, chamber groups and orchestras in New York City.

contact / help

Contact Jon Bell

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Colors and Shapes (Prologue)
Oh for the love of all that's good,
would someone tell me what I should
Gently it echoes across time,
nothing is yours nor mine
Track Name: Six Angels
Feel it in the soles of your shoes,
creeping till it claims all of you
No it won't let up until you want it to
When was it that I found?
A reason to make a sound

Holy as the day you were born
Softly you were cradled by the world
Your maker was your lips first word
But mother can I say?
I was not born yesterday
I've learned things I'd rather have not

Oh father I have sinned,
and it cost me all that I am

My coffin shall be black,
Six angels at my back
Two to sing and two to pray
And two to carry my soul away
Track Name: Red
Red, red, red my eyes are, so much for being here
Wait, wait, wait comes out of my mouth
But go, go, go will you

Why is it that a memory only exists in the mind?
You cant make live something that's already happened
Why do we still try?

Will I loose my life trying to make it right?
Were all built to die, all it takes is time

I saw myself as an old man, lying down on my back
My legs were weak, they would not hold at the knee
I've fallen to the ground

And from down here I see the things that frighten me
One day we will be underneath our feet

Red, red, red my eyes are, so much for being here
But blue, blue, blue is this summer afternoon
Yet only for a while
Track Name: Anniversary Song
He’s from west PA, went to school in state
She’s alone, lives at home down south
“How are you dear do you go out?”

She calls home one day, “Father I’ve got something to say”
Sit him down says she’s found a man
who’d like to take your daughters hand

You give her your love just to give her away.

With a ring he said, “This is life till death.
Lets grow old build a home just us,
a place that we can fill with love

And all this time with you as mine, is something coalescent, something divine.
And when we’re gone we will live on through all our love"

After four decades is love still the same?
Or does it grow, spreading more around
to those of us it has not found?
Track Name: Safe
Riding the train back, to where I cam from
I saw you for the first time and I knew you were the one

You walked me uptown to show me the lights
You were scared you’d might fall I said, “I know what that feels like”

Not much has changed, but it’s not the same
What happened to our love? Did we want it too much?

I don’t want to hurt you, I feel ashamed
Is this right? Or is it just safe?

No one can tell, we hide it so very well
Please say you agree, that you weren’t meant for me
Track Name: Sheets
I’ve been trying to dry myself with my sheets,
But it has made my bed too uncomfortable to sleep
I just don’t know why you can’t let us be,
Is it not enough that I love you and you love me?

I would not be surprised if I could not see,
the things that make it alright are in between,
the good and the bad times of seventeen
But I’m much older now, you’d might think
Track Name: Signs (Interlude)
I followed the signs, to the ocean side, waiting for me there: blue skies, low tides, green eyes, black hair
Track Name: Fade
I look back on when I was good,
holding things I believe so closely
True, I may seem different to you,
I’m partial to loosing my mind

Someone said that this would fade,
like rollers turn to waves and break
Now I’m crashing to the shore

Now that we’re too old to love with out contact,
hard-pressed to get you out of your dress
Why? Is it not that nice otherwise?
Love, is it something you make or something you’re made of?

We could lie out on the beach, or in-between your knees, but how far can this go?

Someone said that this would fade,
but not what year or time of day
Now look what’s happened to you
Track Name: For Patrick
Mother, Mother why,
are your eyes opened wide?
Are you not fast asleep?
Scared of what you’ll dream?

Sister, Sister who,
are you holding on to?
Is he something you lost?
Made room for in your heart?

No on takes this away from me.

Holy, Holy ghost,
were meant to love the most
Tell me it’s not true,
that You took him too soon

Knowing how he’d look now,
with his father’s brow and his mothers mouth,
instead he’s carried out in a shroud,
Are we living yet?
Do we know how?

Reasons, reason don’t,
ever need to be known
to make your house a home,
to make one of your own

and watch him grow,
and come to know what it means
Track Name: Colors and Shapes (Epilogue)
I can love, I can hate,
I can rush, I can wait,
I can give, I can take,
I can curse, I can pray

I can find that time is opaque,
all I see, Colors and Shapes.
I can squint, I can strain,
But it’s no use, my view stays the same